apollymi: Giles holding a blue cup of tea, text reads "cuppa tea" (BtVS**Giles: Cuppa tea)
[personal profile] apollymi
Well, I've officially broken my 50,000 word goal. That's a good thing at least. I got out Write or Die, so I have a nice and high word count for the day, so I can go to bed at a semi-decent hour. I'm still working on the unofficial goal of 65,000 words. I'm not completely sure that I'll reach that, but I'm going to try.

Work was work. We had some computer issues and some difficult testers and all, but I made it through the day.

Roo was ready to pick up this afternoon, and [personal profile] katsuko did it, since she was already off work and I still had a couple hours left. We have him with Aya and Jimi. His paw print is on the mantle piece with Jimi's as well. That's significantly harder.

I found out the other day that part of my job is in a bit of jeopardy because I still owe the IRS money. Specifically, I still owe them $166 from 2013, money I thought was already paid. And after the rather huge bill with Roo, nearly $400, it's also money that I don't have. I have seven days from receiving the letter to have it paid in full or in a payment plan or risk losing that part of my job.

And yeah, that's the daily freakout.
apollymi: Carl holding bottle of holy water, text from Monty Python & the Holy Grail (VH**Carl: Holy hand grenade)
[personal profile] apollymi
Well, I finally managed a good writing day. Granted, it was all on one story, but that doesn't really matter so much as words actually happening, right?

Work today was... work. I made it through with a minimum of issues and generally nice testers. Everyone inquired how Roo was since I left early to take him to the vet, and everyone seemed genuinely sorry that he had passed. That was nice, I guess.

I guess I don't really have anything else to add for today. I've got things to do and words to write... but I also have sleep to get, and that's taking priority right now.

Good night, all.
apollymi: Don Schanke with a paper, looking very unimpressed, no text (FK**Schanke: Schanke is unimpressed)
[personal profile] apollymi
I feel like I'm almost caught up with where I need to be for sleep, except that I'm about to start back to work tomorrow, which means a distinct lack of sleep again.

That isn't to say that I haven't spent the day drifting off at the odd moment, including at Panera Bread, but at least I haven't felt as drained as I usually do. I do, however, have the distinct impression that the weekend went by without me.

And I know that's because I spent the whole weekend drifting by in a sort of haze. Honestly, I'm a little bit still there. I keep looking for Roo on the end of the couch or Jimi snuggled up next to me. I feel like I'm constantly having to be the brave one and not let myself break down in tears... aside from the panic attack I had on the phone with Mom when I first got home on Friday and found Roo.

I hate having to feel like I need to be the strong one. I would love the opportunity to break down. I'm tired of being strong. But I can't seem to get past that block in my brain that says I have to be. I can't stop hearing Oyaji's voice in my head every time I start crying, calling them "crocodile tears" or telling me to grow up or something like that. It's not healthy, but that's where my brain is at.

Anyway, I need to go crawl into my bed. 5:30 gets here awfully early, after all.
apollymi: Captain America in the middle of rubble, no text (Aveng**Cap: Devestation)
[personal profile] apollymi
I can't say that I feel much of anything today. I'm numb, is probably the best way to say it. I'm numb and emotionally void. I'm flying mostly on autopilot last night and today, and I just don't even know what to do about it.

I'm just tired and numb and void. I've got nothing in me. I'm trying to keep on keeping on, and I'm not sure how much of that I've got left in me.

Because we already had the appointments, both [personal profile] katsuko and I had our eyes checked today. She needed new glasses desperately, and my last pair of contact lenses ripped on Friday. Her glasses are being made, and I'll have my contacts in a week or so. I have a trial pair for now, which is better than nothing, I suppose.

We have had a Boo hanging out with us every time we're still for more than a few minutes at the time. She's not on the furniture with us while we're writing or anything, but she's hanging in the same room as us, which is new and different and definitely not unwelcome.

I keep worrying that she's going to get lonesome on her own. She's always had at least one other kitty around. I'm just not sure that [personal profile] katsuko and I are both ready for a new cat. I'm not sure if we're recovered from losing Jimi and now, after losing Roo, it's all so raw. But I also feel like we need to do what's best for her and think about if she needs a companion.

But like I told [personal profile] katsuko, no decisions right now, not while we're not at our best. Boo will forgive us that much at least, if she does feel lonely. We need a little time... and we need a chance to recover financially from the unexpected cremation cost. Because that was nearly $400 we did not have to spare.

And yeah, I'm just null and void. I'm numb beyond meaning of the word. I just don't care anymore. I can't make myself feel anything.
apollymi: Black cat sitting on pumpkins, no text (Proud mom of a black cat) (Kitten: Black cat)
[personal profile] apollymi
I can't even. I've got nothing.

I came home from work today, to find Roo had passed away. We had him from the time he was six weeks old until he was eleven.

He had a bad bout of anemia from fleas last fall, though, and he never really recovered his health from it. Last night, he was a bit weak, a bit shaky in his back legs. This morning, he didn't want breakfast but nibbled on some dry food when I put it out. Given his low weight thanks to the anemia, we decided he needed a vet visit today. Neither of us could get off work on short notice, so we decided that, if I could get out on time, I would go get him and take him.

Well, I got off early, got [personal profile] katsuko dropped off at Mirko, and came to the house... to find he had passed away. Boo was right there with him, acting like she had been there for quite a while. Given how close they always were, I hope this means she was with him through it all.

I started 2017 with three cats. On 18 April, we lost Jimi. And today, 21 July, we lost Roo. Since we moved to these apartments, we've lost two cats. I'm trying not to see a pattern. I'm also trying not to see that I lost Jimi a week before I started at GSU and Roo a few days short of my 3 month anniversary there. I'm trying to tell myself it's bad luck piling on top of bad luck. Correlation, not causation.

But I cannot take much more of this. We only have Boo left. I'm thanking every deity I can think of that she's always been healthy as a horse, but then, until the flea anemia, so was Roo. I can't take any more of this. I just can't.
apollymi: Yuya counting on abacus, Kyo sleeping next to her, colored pink, no text (SDK**Kyo/Yuya: These soft moments)
[personal profile] apollymi
I'm not sure what I have to say for myself for today. It's been a very long day, mostly thanks to work. Let's just say that I'm going to be glad to have the weekend get here. I'm not sure that I'm going to have a day for catching up on sleep this time around, but I'm absolutely going to give it a try.

I'm nowhere near the words I needed for the day, and I'm too tired to keep trying. I'll do my best to catch up tomorrow during the day and in the evening.

And yeah, that's all I've got in me today. Later, all.
apollymi: Faraday and Vasquez fighting back to back, no text (Mag7**Vasquez/Faraday: Shootout)
[personal profile] apollymi
I wish I knew why I'm so tired tonight. I keep drifting off where I'm sitting.

In fact, I actually just woke back up to type this. So... yeah... I'm gonna go lay down somewhere until it's time to go to work.

I'm not sure whether to say "good night" or "good morning" at this point.

Whoops.
apollymi: Hudson freaking out, text reads "Game over, man. Game over". I find this completely realisitc for the situation (Aliens**Hudson: Game over man! Game ove)
[personal profile] apollymi
Well, writing is coming along nicely again. I did manage over 2100 words today, so that's a good thing. I spent a lot of time researching stuff for this section of story, which mostly involves porn and also BDSM websites and stores. I'm not going to get into the details and all here, because I'm tired and ready to go to bed.

Today was a day of assholes at work. We had one guy who had a 9 hour test scheduled come in late, so he started late. He got his full time allotted, because we have no way to deduct time for people pulling shit like that, so we ended up being half an hour late getting out today. We were 15 minutes late getting out last Friday. Now, granted, this Friday is meant to be MCAT tests, so if they all finish when they're supposed to, we should all get to leave early, which will be a nice change of pace. I like MCAT Fridays. I just wish they weren't on Fridays, so that I could actually enjoy them.

Anyway, yeah, sleep time now. It's late, and I am so ready to crash on something other than the living room couch. I would accept the couch in my bedroom, but my bed is sounding pretty damn appealing.

So... Good night, all.

(And yes, for the record, it is really hard to go from writing "Goodnight", as in Goodnight Robicheaux, to "good night", as in hoping everyone has a nice one. It feels stupid weird.)
apollymi: Future Trunks looking down and blushing, text reads "blush" (DBZ**Trunks: BLUSH!!!)
[personal profile] apollymi
I guess I really don't have anything to say for myself for today.

I went to work. I wrote. I tried not to let myself get too distracted with other shit when I'm trying to accomplish any of the above.

I am hoping that I'm not starting to get my annual sinus infection again. I'm all stuffed up, though, and my ears hurt when I bend over, so it's looking like that's pretty solid maybe. I'm going to try heading it off with some sinus medicine and see if that helps any.

And yeah, that's about it for me for today. Later, all.
apollymi: Stitch looking shocked and dismayed, text reads "Oh noes!" (L&S**Stitch: Oh Noes!)
[personal profile] apollymi
I swear, I am actually getting sleep (somewhat) on these days when I'm not at work. Okay, I got sleep yesterday, but not so much today, since I drove [personal profile] katsuko into work. And since I can't quite seem to get drifted off tonight, I don't think I'll have a lot before going into work on Monday. Oh well, lots of caffeine will have to do the trick. I think I can handle that.

I'll have to handle it.

It was a fairly decent writing day, for all that I spent it bouncing between Panera Bread restaurants, drinking way too much hot tea and trying to stay awake. Granted, I didn't get as much writing done today as I should have. I didn't get enough done to make up for the couple of bad days I had Friday and yesterday. I never wrote less than a thousand words so far this month, but I've written less than my minimum of 1,613 (for 50k) and 2,097 (for 65k). I'll have at least managed that much tonight. I just won't have rebuilt my surplus that I had had going before.

I seem to have a bad case of snap, crackle, pop going with my shoulders and back. I had been going to take my laptop with me tomorrow to work, but I think I'm just going to stick to my regular purse and iPad instead. See if I can't cut down on my shoulder pain where I can.

And now, I haven't finished tonight's episode of Game of Thrones yet. No spoilers, please.
apollymi: Hansel & Gretel in the woods, text reads "We've got the taste of blood" (H&G: Hansel & Gretel: Taste of blood)
[personal profile] apollymi
So, yeah, I didn't do so great with the writing today either. I was hoping for a lot more than I managed, that's for certain.

I'm just going to have to break out Write or Die for tomorrow to get caught back up to where I need to be. I had to use it today to get as far as I did.

I'm not tired of writing. I'm just tired. And easily distracted. But mostly tired.
apollymi: Close ups of Arthur and Eames, no text (Incep**Eames/Arthur: Perchance to dream)
[personal profile] apollymi
Okay, this one is going to be short. It's taking everything I've got to keep my eyes open long enough to type this up.

And it's taking even long since I'm misspelling every other word. That's the part that's actually annoying me. And it's not "misspelling" or "annoying" that I'm messing up on. Nope, it's "long" and "going" and "taking" and "eyes". Ya know, the basic shit.

I did not hit either of my word goals today. Trying to make words happen at work today just wasn't happening, thanks to the fact we were testing a lot of assholes. Granted, that was pretty much the story all week, but today was particularly trying.

(It's the "ing" that's giving me the issues. It has to be.)

Anyway, yeah, I'm just fucking wiped out, so I'm going to go on to bed. Good night, all.
apollymi: Typewriter and paper, text reads "Fanfic writer" (My Writing: Fanfic Writer)
[personal profile] apollymi
Today is my cousin Lee's birthday. If I'm mathing correctly, he will be 27 years old today. God, this makes me feel old. I remember him being a wee toddling thing. Now he's married with a four-legged puppy child. It just doesn't seem right.

I had a pretty decent writing day today. I'm coming along well enough toward both the 50,000 word goal I've had as my minimum and towards the 65,000 word goal that is my unofficial one as well. I doubt I'm going to go much over that unofficial goal, but we'll see. Who knows what the weekend will bring.

I do know that tomorrow we'll be paying the Verizon bill again, paying the renter's insurance again, and so forth. I do know that Saturday, [personal profile] katsuko and I have tentative plans to go down to the Tanger Outlets in Locust Grove and see about finding at least one new pair of jeans each, possibly at the Levi's outlet store. I think we might try to go see Spider-Man: Homecoming while we're out that day. I don't know yet, though. I think that's all of our weekend plans, though.

Aside from more writing, of course.

And that's about it for me for tonight. I guess I really don't have a lot to say for myself for today. It's been a long one, not to mention a long week, and I'm going to be glad for tomorrow to be over. Hopefully testers will be in better humors next week.

So, yeah, that's it. Later, all.
apollymi: Lina, falm palming, giant sweat drop, no text (Slay**Lina: Fuckwittery (Facepalm))
[personal profile] apollymi
Today wasn't a great writing day. I tried to make words happen, but they were just stubborn. That or I just kept getting distracted. It could really go either way.

But I tried. I did meet the minimum word count I need to finish with 50,000 words for the month. I just didn't quite reach the number of words I need to reach 65,000 in the month. It's a sad but important distinction.

There was a lot of discussion today about setting up a martini bar at work. It's been that kind of week. Seriously. It's very much been that kind of week. Between attitudes and married men flirting hard and people coming in late (and thus making us have to stay late), it's been such a damn week.

I'm trying to help [personal profile] katsuko get her resume up to snuff, so that she can start applying around again. IKEA is doing a reshuffle, and it's going to end up negatively affecting her. It may just end up meaning that she's shuffled into a section of the store she doesn't like, but it might also mean that she either loses hours or takes a pay decrease. There's no telling until it actually starts happening in the next few weeks.

And yeah, I'm tired and I've had a few glasses of wine. I'm not drunk. I'm barely even tipsy. But I'm tired. I'm hoping that if I go lay down now, while feeling a little bit more relaxed, I might actually be able to get some sleep. I managed 3 and a half hours last night, and I need more than that for tomorrow, if the work week trend continues.

So I'm going to go collapse on my bed and see if something sleep like can occur. Later, all.
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